Thursday, November 29, 2012

7 weeks

  As most of you have heard now, I am seven weeks pregnant with baby number five, yes that's right five... I usually say four but that's all changed as of tonight for me and I'll tell you why. As I began this pregnancy I contemplated on when I should share it with the world. As you see in most all cases today women don't share their news with others until around 10-12 weeks pregnant, which is considered the "safe zone" where miscarriage is less common. I started to really think about what that really meant...  I think it's pretty safe to say that no one intentionally thinks this way when waiting to share the wonderful news of having a child with others, but sometimes we're conformed to this world and it's thinking. Therefore I would like you to take a minute to look at it in my newly found perspective that I've never really considered this much before but felt compelled to share.
  Most of us agree that life is a life at conception. Some of us agree that at conception that baby has a soul. For in Jeremiah 1:5 God says, "Before I formed you in your mother's womb I knew you." To me no matter how long the baby makes it in the womb before actually setting foot into our world, that baby is a person. When death occurs during pregnancy it's usually because of some error at or after conception that resulted in them not safely getting into this world. Or maybe things still didn't go right at or after conception but they made it safely to our world, but have health issues, handicaps, or even have limited days because of the error. The fact seems to be that just because they actually get to breathe the earth's air, all of of sudden means they bump up on a level of "importance" on our scale of life that "matters". We as a world like to assume that just because we didn't make it quite into this world, we didn't matter, so therefore we really weren't a person... much less had a soul. Truth is we ALL start out the same, small as a sesame seed, and maybe not even big enough to let other's ever see you even existed in mom's belly... but does that change the fact of our importance as a life? Now this isn't a discussion on abortion and I'm not here to judge your views... I'm here to tell you this;

Number one: Waiting to tell other's about your growing child inside of you, no matter at what stage, is leaving room for fear, for doubt, for error... Now that's not to say it's your fault by any means if you did miscarry before deciding to share, but I feel only leaving room for God and leaving what's in His control in His hands. Instead, even thinking "Oh you might die baby so I don't want to tell anyone about you just yet..." is trying to put it in your control. That may sound harsh but isn't that what we're telling them? How would you feel if your mom told you "I didn't want to share your life with anyone until I felt comfortable enough that you would live in our world one day"...?
Number two: Knowing what I know now and the time I did have with each of my children, even though they didn't get to breathe our air, cherish each and EVERY day you have with them. Even if you don't ever get to feel him or her kick you from the inside, doesn't mean he wasn't kicking, he just wasn't big enough yet to "show" himself to you or even the world. Truth is he was heading in the same direction you were before you got be big enough to "matter" or far enough to get to take a breath on the outside, as if all of a sudden that qualifies in our world as "importance" because now their on "our" level of life...
Thirdly: Every person is a blessing and a creation from God whether they live 5 months in your womb, 5 years on this earth, or 55 years. Their importance or definition of living didn't increase just because of the time they spent here.
  The truth is you don't have to live or spend anytime actually on this Earth in order to be in God's house for eternity. My sons Jayden and Tucker never got to take a breath on this Earth, even though they were days away from it, they never quite made it. Needless to say they ARE in heaven and I don't have to have anyone living try to convince me of that. Their life mattered as much as mine and as much as yours, maybe not to you in particular but to God they do or they never would of had any inch of existence at all. It's just some of us get to exist longer than others here on Earth, but what matters is if we are or aren't going to exist in Heaven... It's us as the "living" that need to worry about our lives and the decisions were making about our soul here and now, than trying to decide and define the importance of those on their way to our world whether they make it or not...
  After saying all that, I believe you should tell and share the life inside of you with as many as possible while you can. because their life matters no matter if anyone knows they exist or not... So yes my early miscarriage back in December of 2007 was my child too, I just didn't get the pleasure of knowing them as long as my sweet Jayden and Tucker :) or as long as my currently living blessing Noah.
So here's to being seven weeks pregnant with another sweet child and here's to their life no matter how longed it's lived!

-yours truly,
    Mommy Magen now a mommy to five :)


  1. So excited for you, Magan! Praying for a safe and healthy pregnancy :)

  2. Magen, you are awesome and so very good with words. You are a great inspiration to those who are blessed to know you personally. Many years ago, I was so excited to tell anyone who would listen that I was expecting a little miracle with each and every one of my pregnancies. You and your lovely family are in our prayers that this new little soul growing inside of you will be blessed to breathe our air! We love you!

  3. Well said, you are a blessing from God to so many. I am impressed that you have turned to God instead of away from God with the grieve of carrying 5 but only raising one child (so far). The Lord said yes with Noah and may He say yes again with this child also.

  4. Magen,
    You really inspire me and are such a blessing! I have experienced three miscarriages at 7 wks,8.5 wks,and almost 11 weeks. I had a very hard time after each loss and what made it hardest was people telling me...'Oh at least you were only that far so there really isn't anything there!' I always viewed each of them as my babies because regardless of what others think. Its a life regardless. I pray everyday for you and hope everything goes well with your pregnancy. I know we dont know each other personally and live thousands of miles apart,but you are encouraging to many people who hear your experience. God Bless you! You are one strong mama!